Willing suspension of disbelief

I’m writing to you from a cafe in Canggu. Yesterday marks one week since I arrived, and let me tell you– it’s been a wild ride already.

Coming into this trip as a solo traveller, I had no idea what to expect. While I’d popped around Europe solo a bit, nothing could have prepared me for the hostels in SE Asia. Coming into this trip I never anticipated that I’d make such good friends, hence the 6 books I brought to read. Since my arrival, I haven’t had a spare moment to myself, though it’s been quite good. This is one of the first exercises I’ve been given during the trip. Walking up to groups of girls and introducing myself, strutting into a hostel bar alone, and talking to strangers in restaurants are ways I continue to challenge myself. I’ve always considered myself a social person, and outgoing when I need to be, however this has always been the challenge for me. Having always relied on my friends and family to do the heavy lifting in the past, I’ve had to lock in and master the art of small talk; Something I’ve always hated, but a nicety that makes the world go round. I’ve never been much good at it, but like any skill worth having, it must be practiced. Here I have no choice but to do just that.

As a communications major, this a great exercise for me. I think back to the first comms course I took, intercultural communication, and this concept my teacher led our class by: the willing suspension of disbelief. Essentially, it’s a call to open ones heart and mind to that which exists beyond us, the previously unknown, or unimaginable. It’s an openness to connection, to learning, and changing.

Applying this in the context of listening, not to lectures and presentations, but to the people around me, has helped me tremendously throughout my travels. Whether it’s a taxi driver, a tourist in the queue for the market, or a hostel worker; the stories in Bali are deeply rich and worth hearing.

This applies to locals and expats alike. There is an incredible cross cultural exchange here in Bali (though problematic, which is a discussion for another time) that has created a widely diverse community. Not only has being in Bali offered me the opportunity to learn more about Balinese culture, I’ve met people from all over who have given me a greater framework for understanding the entire world beyond this tiny island.

Note: Australia. We never learn anything about it in school, why is that? I was very excited to learn about Australians when I came to Bali. I was very pleased when I met my husband Heath Ledger on my first night here (his name was Jack and he bought me a singular drink). We underwent a messy divorce later in the evening (he started calling me slurs per the current redhead phenomenon on TikTok), however the experience sparked many interesting conversations about the political climate in Australia, and how racism is a huge issue over there, and their political system is almost as messed up as ours. Maybe it was a bit presumptuous of me to assume that the United States was the sole holder of such concerning status. Regardless, the experience put me off men (briefly), which is never a bad place to end up.

And I was better off for it, as I met so many amazing girls from around the world who taught me so much. One of the most interesting observations of mine is how normal travel is for people from countries outside the United States. Expats, digital nomads, gap year students, and full time travelers; I never imagined a world in which this was someones reality, not an extended vacation in a quirky location. While I was lucky enough to veer ever so slightly away from the beaten path during my time at CC, in other countries it’s not only normalized, but encouraged for young adults to do ski seasons, working holidays, go interrailing across Europe, and backpack SE Asia. It’s incredible the amount of other 19 year old’s I’ve met out here doing the same as me, yet none are from the States. I think it boils down to the fact that our culture doesn’t revere travel as “productive” or “responsible,” and we worship these traits as the end all be all.

To that point, productive and responsible by their traditional definitions are two things I have not been since my arrival here in Bali. In fact, I’ve strayed so far away from these pillars of my past identity that I’m beginning to wonder who I really am. I stay out until morning, practice yoga in the day, and sink my feet into the sand for sunsets. I actually enjoy going out, and on any given night you can find me on the nearest table with a joss shot in hand. I walk around barefoot and get this–I wear jewelry that is different shades of gold. Who am I? I don’t know. My disbelief has been so far suspended that for the first time in my life, I feel like I have the room to create.

I think that maybe part of this has to do with the fact that I am so far away. I have barely spoken to my friends and family (not on purpose), and I’ve found a bit of freedom in existing in a place where nobody knows me or has any expectations of me. The thought of being quite literally on the other side of the world used to terrify me, but now I’ve realized maybe it’s the one thing that can put me back together, piece by piece. I’m so thankful to be here.

Only $200 to reschedule my flight home and I am heavily considering. As is with everything, time will tell.

With love,

EHB x